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If dining and wining your way across the Mediterranean on a luxury cruise ship sounds like your idea of a great vacation, keep reading.

This fall you can join fellow oenophiles and foodies for a special “Wine & Food” theme cruise in the Mediterranean aboard one of the top-rated ships in the world. And to give those of you in the Greater Toronto Area an advance taste of what you can expect, Tripharbour has put together a special “Wine and Food Pairing” evening with Arthur’s Cellar Wine Club, Bodega Restaurant and Crystal Cruises.

The 12-day “Wine & Food” cruise aboard the Crystal Serenity will depart Barcelona for Venice on September 17 and visit 7 ports in Spain, the south of France, Italy, Greece and Croatia. In addition to visiting magnificent cities like Rome, Florence, Sorrento, Monte Carlo, Corfu and Dubrovnik, the ship will feature wine tastings led by master sommeliers, as well as cooking demonstrations presented by celebrity chefs. Guests can also extend their vacation with a pre or post-cruise land stay in Europe.

The celebrity chef for this sailing will be Tom Aikens. As head chef of Pied à Terre in London, he became the youngest British chef to be awarded two Michelin stars. He spent a year as head chef at La Tante Claire before opening Tom Aikens in April 2003. The restaurant won a Michelin star in January 2004 and three stars in the Egon Ronay’s revived restaurant guide for 2005. In 2005, it was named as the eighth best restaurant in the world in Restaurant’s Top 50.

The wine sommelier for the voyage will be Gerhard Retter, who has worked at numerous restaurants, including Gualtiero Marchesi in Italy and Gordon Ramsay’s Aubergine in London. Retter recently opened his own hotel-restaurant, Zur Fischerklause-Lutjensee near Hamburg. His awards include 4-time winner of Maitre of the Year in Germany or Austria, Cheese Sommelier of the Year in Austria, and Sommelier of the Year in Austria’s Bertelsmann Fine Dining Guide.

The special Tripharbour.ca price (including roundtrip airfare, pre-paid gratuities, and US$1,000 per person onboard credit) for the 12-day cruise starts at US$5,940 per person. For more information or to reserve a cabin for the cruise, please call Tripharbour.ca at 1-877-810-TRIP (8747).

The “Wine and Food Pairing” evening will take place at Bodega Restaurant in Toronto at 6:30 pm on Thursday, April 15. The evening will feature champagne from Forget-Brimont, wines from Vignobles Mousset-Barrot in Chateauneuf du Pape, a 5-course dinner especially designed and prepared by Paul Biggs (the owner and executive chef at Bodega) to complement the wines, and descriptions of the wine and wineries by Jim Walker, proprietor of Arthur’s Cellar Wine Club.

Some of the Tripharbour crew will also be present to talk about the cruise, including CEO and Founder Stuart MacDonald, as well as yours truly, Commodore Dave.  However, if you want to talk with me about cruising that evening, please do so before my fifth glass of wine!

The all-inclusive price (including tip and taxes) for the evening is $135 per person, and reservations can be made by calling Bodega at 416-977-1287.

So if all this talk about great chefs, marvelous menus and fantastic sommeliers has you salvitating, maybe it’s time you satisfied your appetite by wining and dining your way to the Med.

Our second evening aboard the Celebrity Solstice began with such promise.

It was the first formal night of our cruise in the Mediterranean, and the entire family (me, wife Gail, and daughters Samantha and Lindsay) had been invited to join the Captain for dinner. And since it was the eve of Samantha’s 19^th birthday, we were in a celebratory mood.

So dressed in our finery (including me in a penguin suit), we made our way to a long table in the Grand Epernay dining room where we were seated with six other guests and Captain Dimitrios Kafetzis. Dimitrios, as he insisted we call him, was born in the Greek port of Piraeus, and has been sailing with Celebrity since 1990. More importantly, he is a very charming man with a wonderful sense of humor who had us all laughing and feeling at ease within five minutes.

Inhibitions removed, we quickly got down to the task at hand: enjoying our sumptuous four-course dinner,  while desperately trying to stay one step ahead of the sommelier who kept refilling our glasses with a superb selection of white and red wines. The food was fabulous, including my selection of Seafood Salad, Porcini Mushroom Soup with Truffle Oil, Chateaubriand, and Crème Brule. And our table companions from England and the United States were delightful company.

At that point, it would have been a perfect evening if we had only retired to our cabins and resisted the urge to stay up past midnight to celebrate Sam’s birthday. We had already consumed enough wine to intoxicate a small village, and I was beginning to feel I could dance like Patrick Swayze.

That’s a bad combination for me at the best of times, but even more so when I’m in the company of university students like Sam and Lindsay who are in tip-top party shape. Gail smartly saw all the signs and went to bed. However, I decided it was time to prove that even at 55 years of age I was still spry enough to keep up with the party girls.

Our first post-dinner stop was the Captain’s “welcome reception” in the beautiful Solstice Theatre where we were served complimentary champagne as Dimitrios introduced his officers and the ship’s dance ensemble performed. Several glasses of champagne later the clock struck midnight, Sam turned 19 years old, and we relocated to the Sky Lounge on Deck 14 where a live band was belting out great dance tunes.

My powers of reason and recall became a bit diminished around this time, but I do remember drinking bottomless glasses of scotch and water, seeing Sam wearing my bow tie, singing Happy Birthday, posing for silly photos, and joining the girls on the dance floor for my best rendition of John Travolta in the movie “Saturday Night Fever.” After an hour of live dance music, we moved the party to the Quasar Disco on Deck 4 where I switched my beverage of choice to gin and tonic, and started dancing in a style that must have looked something like Michael Jackson meets Jim Carey.

After a few hours of this, the girls wisely decided to bluff their way into the VIP area of the Disco and leave me to my own devices. So while they sipped cocktails and traded stories with the officers and entertainers, I put my tail between my legs, made a wobbly retreat to the cabin, and collapsed into bed at 3:00 in the morning swearing “never again!”

It had been a great evening, and it had been a real treat for me to be part of Sam’s birthday celebration with Lindsay. However, when she turns 20 next year, I think I’ll just send a card!

When Commodore Dave described the Celebrity Solstice as a “wow” in his blog, he was probably right. However, he was dead wrong when he said that my sister Sam and I are costing him too much money. Hey, he ain’t seen nothing yet!

Even before boarding the ship, I had dropped a bundle at Heathrow airport on a pair of Burberry sunglasses.  So he should feel lucky I bought those before we met up in Rome and boarded the Celebrity Solstice! (Hey, if my boss at the Benneton store in Ottawa is reading this post, I’m going to need more hours in the store to pay for all this and more as soon as I get back.)

Speaking of the Solstice, we were absolutely blown away by its size and beauty even before boarding and seeing the amazing restaurants, bars and shops onboard. It’s very different from our Mediterranean cruise last year on the Pacific Princess, which holds about 900 people compared to 2,850 on the Solstice. Eleven days of booze, food, shopping, shore excursions and pedicures aboard this beauty (most compliments of Dad) shouldn’t be too hard to handle!

However, our first night at sea was pretty much a write-off for us. We were so tired from traveling across the Atlantic from Montreal to Rome that we managed to sleep through all the sail-away activities.  We barely made it to the emergency drill and to be honest, we even dozed through most of that (just picture us all done up in our oversized lifejackets, heads sticking out the top, sitting in the theater falling asleep as the crew took us through the drill). 

I have to say life-jackets do make for a good head-rest – they give you somewhere to put your head, so it’s not always falling down and waking you up the second you fall asleep. I would have bought one for the return trip home on the plane, but Dad is starting to get very stingy. Point is, however, we slept through the sail-away (yes, we are lame), but that gave us tons more energy for the following day at sea.

We finally had a chance to sleep in, nose around the ship and figure out just where everything fits into place.  Before the day was over, Sam and I had made mental notes on all 13 bars (this will be useful when we get Dad drunk and convince him to do his disco routine), decided which extra-fee restaurants were worthwhile (all three of them), and checked out all the shops (they span two decks!). I’ve already picked out what I want to buy (a very nice watch – it’s only $150 Dad!). We also stopped at the spa where I booked my pedicure for a sea day (they fill up fast), and scoped out the pools (indoor and out).

After a nap, we went for dinner at “Blu,” which is a small and intimate restaurant that serves wonderful European-style cuisine and is reserved for AquaClass cabin passengers. The food was great, but I couldn’t eat much and it’s not because the food is free as claimed by Dad in his blog. Actually, I’m saving my appetite so he can buy me lunch when we go ashore on the Greek Island of Santorini tomorrow!

So, I’m pretty much in agreement with Dad that the Solstice is much more than good! The ship itself is gorgeous; there is a ton to do on board, lots to eat, great shops, and beautiful places to see when we dock. The only thing I have yet to find are some other people close to us in age (19 and 21)…there must be some on board somewhere?

However, when it comes to superlatives like “wow,” I think I’ll reserve it for when he pulls out his Visa card. When the bright Mediterranean sun reflects off the platinum coating of his card as he pays for our latest purchases, it really is a thing of beauty!

As we walked up the gangplank of the 122,000-ton Celebrity Solstice to begin our 11-day Mediterranean cruise, the first word that came to mind was “Wow!” At least, that’s what our two daughters (19-year-old Samantha and 21-year-old Lindsay) must have thought as they contemplated life aboard this floating paradise for the next 11 days at Dad’s expense!

And paradise it is. Launched just six months ago, the Solstice is the first in a series of three spectacular ships planned by Celebrity with lots of new and fabulous features. They include a water fountain that doubles as a dance floor, 10 different restaurants including a gorgeous two-storey main dining room, a beautiful pool area and enclosed solarium, a live glass-blowing show, and a Lawn Club on the top deck with a bocce patch, putting green and picnic area all sitting on real grass.  

And let’s not forget the marvelous spa which Lindsay has already used for a pedicure (“Dad, it was just $45!”), and lots of boutiques that sell the latest in fashion and jewelry (“Dad, how much spending money do we have on the ship?”). At this rate, I don’t think my $200 in shipboard credits will last more than a few days!

In any event, after departing Civitavecchia (the port for Rome) last night, we spent our first evening at sea getting acquainted with nightlife on the ship. While I’ve given the girls a “booze” budget for the entire cruise, they’ve already figured out how to make it stretch much further – they invite me for drinks and then stick me with the bill!

I’d try to hide from them, but they can easily find me due to the ship’s innovative design which clusters public areas in “zones” to make it easier to hop from one restaurant or bar to another. For example, most of the smaller themed-restaurants are clustered together near the stern on Deck 5, while many of the nightclubs and lounges can be found between mid-ships and the stern on Deck 4.  While this layout could have led to crowding on a smaller ship, the Solstice seems large enough to accommodate all 2,850 passengers without any issues. It certainly accommodates Sam and Lindsay, who have had no problem finding me to pay bills.

For our first night at sea, my wife Gail and I had a wonderful dinner of corn chowder, cheese soufflé, and pan-seared Ahi Tuna in “Blu,” the intimate Mediterranean-style restaurant reserved for passengers booked in AquaClass cabins. Of course, since the price of this restaurant is included in our cruise fare, the girls just ordered salads. They must be holding out for lunch ashore in Santorini tomorrow, or maybe for one of the alternative restaurants aboard ship.

For example, I’m sure they’ll enjoy one of the alternative restaurants like Murano (French cuisine at $30 per person), Tuscan Grill (Italian Steakhouse at $25 per person), and Silk Harvest (Asian cuisine at $20 per person). And I suspect they will be visiting the Bistro on Deck 5 where crepes are available for an extra $5 per person. After all, it’s located right next to the boutiques.

Oh, and I shouldn’t forget the Internet service aboard the Solstice. They have a nice Internet Café, keyboards that hook up to televisions in the cabin, and Wi-Fi service throughout the ship including in our cabins. The packages start at just $29.95 for 49 minutes of air time, but the girls pointed out that the $79.95 package for 150 minutes is a much better value. If they keep “saving” me money like this, I will soon need a second mortgage.

Anyway, I invited them to the Cruise Connection party this morning because you get to meet lots of other fun and interesting cruise aficionados. There were about 80 people there from around the world, including the U.S., Canada, the U.K. and Australia. There was a neat gift exchange organized by “Florida Rich,” a nice welcome from our Cruise Director Dru, lots of good ideas exchanged for shore excursions, and some nice offers to share taxis ashore. Of course, since it was free and much too early in the morning (10:00 am), the girls decided to take a pass and sleep in!

But tonight is our first formal evening and we’re about to have another “Wow” moment aboard the Solstice – we’ve all been invited to have dinner with the Captain.  While it’s a complimentary invitation and the girls have agreed to go, my wallet is beginning to feel uneasy. After all, once the girls get all dressed up and have dinner with the Captain, they’re going to feel like making a fun night of it by going to the disco. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll get some crazy idea that the evening is still compliments of the Captain and order a bottle of Dom Perignon on my bill!